Aku pun taktau nak mula entry macam mana... sebab dah pukul 1:35 pagi, aku nak ucap good morning ke goodnight? Ke good midnight? Okay, lawak tak sampai. Aha.

Malam ni malam kedua. Keliru, sakit hati, sedih. Reason? Aku pun taktau, yang aku tau, nangis.

Let me speak english, I feel awkward meluahkan perasan di hujung dadaku ini guna bahasa melayu. Maklumlah, cheq cakap oghang Serawok tulen.

So, these few nights, random thoughts entered my brain, it's like those repulsive thoughts are playing with my mind. Even though I think my life is quite normal, but those random thoughts makes me think that no one around me really appreciated me that much.

I have a "namjachingu", for as long as I've known him (which is when I was in form 4) he was sweet, kind, quite funny laaa (his jokes, super lame, you don't want me to start) and really, he's sweet. But whenever he tries to be, I push him away because I think that it wouldn't last (I'm not that pretty to begin with).

I know he misses me, I keep ignoring him on purpose and keep doing something else. I ignore most of his text, replies late, because I feel depressed. The thing is, if you know me, I randomly get mad, sad or even meracau you know, tak tentu pasal. HAHAHA

I don't have any mental disorder, it's called PMS LMAO

But really, right now, I want to cut ties with everyone but I don't want to. So what did I do? Cry my heart(s) out. It's sad. I mean I'm so disappointed with myself. HELP ME be happy again, me.

20/11